In God's Own Country

Despite being a Keralite....I've always been a Bombay girl (I somehow don't like the word Mumbaikar? call it prejudice or JLT). I always wondered why was Kerala called God's own country.....realised it only when I actually lived there. Watching the back waters, studying the slow pace of the town or feasting on fish curry rice, everything about this place made me fall in love with it....Also learnt the most important lessons of my life here

One of my earlier writings from Downtown Plus......Just thought of posting it

From the aroma of raw mango pickles to the jingling of gold bangles Archana Fernandez takes a trip to the narrow by lanes of Cochin

(BTW we got this pic clicked at Cochin's marine drive, a place where local youth hang out. From right, Priya, Ami (wrote about her sometime ago) and me we went there after Ami's interview at The Week Magazine's interview)

Headline:

It’s India’s answer to Venice. The island city of Cochin, in Kerala, has everything you could want in a Venetian town. A loose agglomeration of townships connected by waterways. Indian buildings share space with remnants of three colonial occupations, the Portuguese, the Dutch and the British.

Also referred to as the queen of the Arabian Sea, Cochin has something to offer to everyone. The marks left by centuries of intrepid visitors, the exquisite beauty of her harbor, the vibrancy of her people, and the tantalising cuisine are some of the endearing virtues of Kochi.

The area around Kochi is reminiscent of an era that you can find only in old school geography books. Colourful fishing villages and ancient temples dot the coast, rice paddies; cashew, coconut, banana and rubber and tea plantations fill every valley and stretch across the hills. The scenes are exotic, green and tropical.

Kochi is a natural harbour and a variety of fishing craft ply the busy harbour waters - some only small canoes with rag cloth sails. Ships wait their turn to load spices such as ginger, pepper and turmeric from brightly painted waterside warehouses or godowns.Passenger boats from canoes to modern ferries as well as some quaint tourist boats transport people between the islands. Public passenger ferries or private tourist boats take you to the doors of Bolghatty Palace on palm studded Bolghatty Island. The palace was built by the Dutch and later used as the British Residency. Today the palace is a hotel and though it has seen better days, still has a strong sense of history and nobility as well as one of the best vantage points on Kochi harbour. It also has a golf course.

Across the bay is the Mattancherry Peninsula, perhaps the most interesting part of Kochi. You could spend an afternoon riding around Fort Cochin, Jew town and the spice markets on a hired bicycle there is plenty to see. There is the Mattancherry Palace with its brilliant murals depicting scenes from the Ramayana.

However, the biggest attractions in Kochi are the giant cantilevered Chinese fishing nets that line the point of Fort Cochin. Introduced to the locals by the court traders of Kublai Khan and are used till date throughout the backwaters. These huge nets are lowered and raised into the water with the help of a pulley, manually by the fishermen. You could also take your pick from the catch and get them cooked as per your liking.

Close to the Chinese fishing nets is the fading facade of St. Francis Church, founded by Portuguese Franciscan friars in 1503. Vasco da Gama was buried here and although his remains were later returned to Portugal, his headstone is still in the church. The oldest church in India, it is still used for Sunday services, during which pankha-wallas manually pull ropes attached to woven rattan pankhas (fans) to provide "air conditioning".

Roam around the cobbled streets of Jew town, site of the oldest synagogue in Asia. The once thriving Jewish population of Kochi has dwindled from about four thousand in the nineteenth century to just a few families today.

The essence of Kochi however, is her spices, which has inspired many writers. Inside the godowns, the strong, exotic smells pervading the street are concentrated to lung-piercing agony and it's impossible to stay more than a couple of minutes before returning to the street, gasping for mouthfuls of air

However, if you get bored with the old world charm of the Kochi then just take a bus and reach the much modern town of Ernakulam, it’s twin city.

Take a walk at Marine Drive or browse through the numerous Gold shops at MG Road. A visit to the nearby Cherai Beach is also a must.

SAYING NO

Saying No to someone is the most difficult task in the world, according to me. Thanks to this habit i have often over-stressed myself and have been taken for a ride. But off-late I'm practicing this art and believe me I'm so loving it.
Saying No is better than pushing yourself to a point where you burst!

A song from my growing up days

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain,
Telling me just what a fool I've been.
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain,
And let me be alone again.

Now the only girl I've ever loved has gone away.
Looking for a brand new start!
But little does she know that when she left that day.
Along with her she took my heart.

Rain, please tell me, now does that seem fair
For her to steal my heart away when she don't care
I can't love another, when my heart's somewhere far away.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain,
Telling me just what a fool I've been.
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain,
And let me be alone again.
Rain, won't you tell her that I love her so
Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow
Rain in her heart and let the love we know start to grow.

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain,
Telling me just what a fool I've been.
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain,
And let me be alone again.

Oh listen to the falling rain
Pitter patter pitter patter, Oh
Listen, listen to the falling rain
Pitter patter pitter patter, Oh
Listen, listen to the falling rain
Pitter patter pitter patter

Cooking experiments

Am not a great cook, in fact just about nine-months-old....picked up cooking because i had no choice but now i like it.....here are a few recipes that i tried and they turned out pretty decent.....my friend Sabina suggested posting them so here i go....

Drumstick sambar



Ingredients
Drumsticks (vegetable and not chicken)
1 cup tuvar dal
1 cup fresh shredded coconut
1 tsp turmeric powder
4 red chillies
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp methi seeds
A pinch of ajwain
2 to 3 pieces of garlic
2 to 3 green chillies
1 and half cup of thick tamarind pulp
salt to taste
1 tsp chilli powder
2 tsps sambar powder

For the seasoning:
A pinch of hing/ asafoetida
A sprig of curry leaves
1 tsp mustard seeds

Method

Fry red chilies, coriander seeds, mustard seeds,turmeric powder, cumin seeds and fenugreek seeds. Grind all these with the shredded coconut into a thick paste. if you want the sambar to be brownish then you can roast the coconut along with the ingredients used in step 1. i avoided roasting the coconut so my sambar is yellowish in colour. Peel and cut the drumsticks into 5 cm pieces and boil them in water with a little salt and turmeric powder. In case you are using frozen drumsticks, just thaw them, wash them and boil it. The drumstick should be tender but not too soft that they break off. Soak the dal in water for one hour. Wash it and pressure cook it with salt, garlic pieces and green chillies. When the dal is cooked, stir it nicely and mix the ground paste with the cooked dal. Add the cooked drumsticks to this. Let it boil and then add the chilli powder and sambar masala to it Add tamarind pulp to the mixture and bring to boil. Heat oil and fry mustard seeds, ajwain, asafoetida and curry leaves. Pour on the sambar. Add salt to taste. Cook till well blended. COMING NEXT.....Beetroot Poriyal/ Betroot Sabzi

Some Human Tendencies.....

Some of us have the tendency of dismissing or rather calling everything that we don't like as trash....If we live in the suburbs we criticise the city and if we live in the city we criticise the suburbs....
Everyone has their view but what turns me off is people trying to push their point of view on others....If you have accepted a way of life don't hurt people who don't approve your view of life.
But i guess it gives some humans sadistic pleasure by putting others down....
If you are well-educated, good for you but don't poke fun at someone who isn't that well-educated. It only goes to show that all your education hasn't taught you basic manners and etiquettes.
My aunt had a favourite quote, "Donkey brags about its own tail," and after coming to the US i've met many people who indulge in this habit. Many wives love to brag about their husbands....while they maybe sitting at home doing nothing but watching television they love to do free P R for their husbands.....Its good that you are proud of your man and we know you are the luckiest wife on earth....but please pity your listeners, they have much better things in life than listening to your "mera pati sabse mahan lecture...." You guys end up portraying an image that you have no personality of your own and that your whole life revolves around your husband....which isn't all that healthy.....
Not taking responsibility....must confess i also exhibit this tendency at times.....you are a victim of circumstance you did something because someonelse suggested it to you or adviced you to do it....It takes a lot of guts to accept your mistakes but once you do it! you are a better person.
Yet another tendency is Jealousy.....which we women experience every single day....how come she lost so much weight? how did she get such a handsome husband? the list is endless....bt at the end of the day it only makes us more bitter.....
There are some of us who have an inferiority complex about something and our way of dealing with it....putting other people down.....like if someone gets a job you don't get you say, "oh....he manipulated the interview panel...." or "the job's not good enough.....even if i got it.....i wouldn't have taken it up!" An ideal case of sour grapes that's it....they argue for the sake of arguing and its better not to waste your energy on these people because you can never win with them!

DEALING WITH INSECURITY

Lately i've been obsessed with the word "insecurity," so you'll get an overdose of it.....
As a teenager i was insecure about the way i looked.....while i never had a problem with my dark skin tone....everyone around me from friends, neighbours, classmates to even some of my teachers had a problem with it.
"Archana....you should try this cream, you know?" or "you are dark but you have good features...." or "try getting this done it will make you a little fair," or "you shouldn't wear some colours because they won't suit you," or "you are a dusky maiden, black beauty?"
My answer to these suggestions.... both my parents are dark so i am supposed to be dark....i can't help it??? its in the genes!!!! But somewhere deep inside me i felt that my skin colour was like a handicap....
As immature teenagers some of us can be insensitive....i remember being called a lot of hurtful things by some of my neighbours....while i bravely learnt laughing it off later it did hurt me at times....
Even my close friends never missed a session of advicing me on improving my skin colour, or consoling me by saying, "you're dark but dont worry you have good features....in fact i love your dusky skin tone." In hindsight i realise that their intentions weren't hurtful and they probably didn't know i was sensitive about it.....
When i turned 17....my aunt thought that i was grown up enough to travel alone and she enrolled me to a public speaking course at Mumbai's Indo American Society and the 12 sunday workshop helped me immensely. I was a changed person....I made some very good friends there who seemed to have no problem with the way i looked.....it was here that i realised that i was good at a lot of things and that i could probably become something in life.
Post Indo-American i overcame my insecurity with my colour and rather accepted it as a part of me. I did meet a lot of people after that who had lots of suggestions for making me fairer etc.....bt i realised that they have a different version of beauty and probably i don't fit that version but that doesn't make me ugly or bad.....
Other than my Indo-American friends there have been only two people in my life with whom i have had a long term contact and who have never discussed my colour with me.....my best friend Amrita and my husband Vijay.....
I have known Ami for five years and Vijay for 8 and a half years and they have never ever discussed my colour with me.....it was as if they never noticed it and that has only made me respect them more.....
Initially i would suspect that maybe they did notice my skin tone but they were too kind to hurt me and hence never mentioned it to me.....so i casually asked Ami, "do you think i should try a fairness cream?" and Ami was so furious with me, "why do you need one? what's wrong with you?"

INSECURITY

Its very rare to find a person who is secure in life.....who is so comfortable in his skin that he doesn't care about what the world thinks about him but at the same time this person doesn't criticize people for their opinion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and if they don't have a good view about you that doesn't make that person bad or evil.....
I too have my insecurities and I am quite open about it....my biggest insecurity currently is going back to Mumbai and facing the fast paced life there. Hackensack, where i live now is quite, peaceful, calm and gives me the space to be myself. Also when i'm bored i can quite easily swift into the highly fast paced life of New York City which is about 25 mins drive from my home. Being a housewife isn't all that easy but it gives you a lot of space and freedom.....bt it also makes your life a little slow.....and that is my fear!!!! When i move back to mumbai, a city with speed faster than light, will i be able to manage???? The funny part is I was once a part of this maddening city and never wanted anything else but the fast and frantic life of Mumbai and now the same me questions it? strange and wierd but that's how we humans are right?

Soul sisters

I have this tendency of disliking people when i meet them first but gradually i end up loving these people to death.

Amrita Singh (not the actress, but if you meet her you'll realise she's got all the attributes of a very good actress. A little makeover and Ami could be the next thinking man's sex symbol....) She can create a web of lies so well that you'd end up believing her!!!!

I first met Ami before my personal interview at MASCOM (Manorama School of Communiations) our journalism school in Kottayam, Kerala. I wondered what had bought a girl from Delhi to Kerala, a land whose culture, language, food and people all were alien to her. My first impression of her, Snooty.
But its strange that we went on to become best friends....in fact i havent shared a friendship like this with any of my other friends whom i have known for years.....
Our friendship grew only after my aunt left me at the hostel and went back to Mumbai after living with us in our apt, MOUNTFORD, for three days. I wasn't a spoilt brat but i wasn't used to living alone.....in fact i've always had trouble making decisions for myself.....here i was all alone with nobody to advice me on what was right and what was wrong.....Amrita on the other hand was very independent and for the first few days when it was just Ami and me in the hostel....we became good friends and i realised that she wasn't so snooty at all....
We scandalised the town of Kottayam, by wearing jeans and tucking our shirts in....I got this habit from Ami....she always tucks her shirt in. We were extremely famous in Kottayam as the girls from north india!!!!
Walking home from hostel at 11 in the town in a town that sleeps at 8....with fanta bottles in our hand we walked down the isolated road like the town was all ours.....Journalism school was tough we had tons of assignments to be completed and most of us had to stay back in school till late....Most of the other girls in our batch stayed back till 12 or after.....they would ask the guys in our class to get them a rickshaw..... but Ami and i took the assignments home....as a policy we rarely stayed back after 11
In Kerala, girls dont eat at road-side stalls because that's where truck-drivers and drunkards hang out but we changed that trend....we skipped dinner at hostel becoz dinner time was chappatis and the hostel chappati sucked:((( at 10 Amrita and l would leave the hostel, sometime Priya my room mate would tag along.....we would walk to the road-side stall opp the Malayala Manorama building and eat kerala parotas and aloo curry - a tasty meal for 5 Rs. Soon we became regulars and the guy who ran the stall called us journalists and would keep three chairs for us separately.....sometimes i'd order a piece of chicken fry.....the other girls in the hostel also loved the food but standing at a roadside stall and eating was harakiri to these girls from affluent families in Kerala. So we would get parcels for them.
Extremely well-read and very intelligent, Amrita was everything i wasn't.....I remember on a field trip to Trivandrum......our hotel was near the beach and being from Delhi....beaches were a rare sight to Amrita....one morning the two of us sneaked to the beach to see the sunrise without telling our Prof becoz we didnt want to disturb him at 5 in the morning.....once we were at the beach we never realised how quickly time passed and it was 8:30.....Priya called us up angrily.....she wanted to know where we were? one of our classmates, Renjith Leen....informed our Prof that the two of us had gone to the beach without informing anyone....and here the two of us were eating breakfast at a nice beach shack....
Suddenly our joy was ended becoz of priya's call.....she was upset that we went on this discreet trip without telling her....sheepishly we returned to the hotel and ran to our room....Ami asked me to have my bath....while i was in the bathroom wondering what to tell our Prof, Ami went to him and apologised and said that it was she who forced me to go along with her....matter resolved....The same evening all of us went to the beach to enjoy....suddenly Ami fell down and started crying.....she wasn't the sort to cry easily i wondered what happened to her and she told me that she felt like something bit her and there was a shooting pain from her foot to her thigh......
there was another family that was picknicking at the beach.....they had a car we put Ami into thier car and rushed her to a hospital while she was writhing in pain, i could say that it was the worst day of my life....i was scared and only said one thing to god...."please take care of her!!!!" All our classmates were scared.....and all of us were just praying....the doctor took her into emergency and did some tests within five minutes he said that there was nothing to worry.....Apparently the beach we were in, Kovalam, was habitat to a fish that left its saliva on humans....this would cause excruciating pain for two hours and would subside slowly.....Ami was given an injection and recovered in the night.....while i just thanked God that the incident didnt happen in the morning while we were alone....
When i got married on 26th Jan last year, Amrita couldn't turn up and i was angry on her......because all along she promised me that no matter what happened she'd definitely make it....i didn't take her calls from 24th when she announced she couldn't make it up. But like all good friends we couldn't be upset with each other for a long time.....As soon as i reached my new home on the 26th i told my husband that the first thing i wanted to do was call Ami!!!! I called her up and apologised for being silly....i also told her that i forgave her :)

today we are miles away but i can still say that if there's anyone whom i can call up anytime its Ami....she always encourages me....no matter how silly i am at times and though she does shut me up sometimes but that's for my own good.....I hope no matter where we go and what we become our friendship still remains the same.....
ever since i was a kid i always longed for an older sis becoz all my frnds had older sisters....And all the friends i made i always looked for an older sibling in them....sadly none of them ever filled the void.....but as they say that the best is always saved for the last......my patience paid off....Maybe God had to give me the best so he made me wait for 21-years.....

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

While most of us were partying and welcoming the New Year two girls had a tough time at the Juhu beach where, a gang molested them in the presence of their husbands. Click the link for the whole story.


http://www.hindustantimes.com/PhotoGallery/Photos_StoryPage.aspx?Category=NewYearrevellersfacemolestation

Whenever a case of molestation or eve teasing comes up fingers are raised at the lady in question. People try their best to put down the women by saying they shouldn't have been at Juhu beach late in the night, so what if they were there with thier husbands? they say that this is a lesson for women and they should avoid being late up and dressing provocatively!!!!

But nobody questions the perpeterators of this crime! Remember the Rakhi Sawant - Mika Singh episode. When Mika forciby kissed Rakhi at his birthday party our so-called culture experts questioned Rakhi's dressing sense at the party. By no way am I a Rakhi Sawant fan, but i strongly feel that no matter how provocatively a woman dresses up or no matter how "loose charachter" the woman possess no man has the right to touch her without her permission.

A man should only touch a woman if she permits it. Its a myth that women who dress up provocatively are the only ones who get molested. Every woman has in her life, at some time or the other been eyed upon, teased, groped or molested! I guess the only place were a woman is safe is her own house but some of us arent that lucky either. Recently a Delhi based agency conducted a survey which proved that more than 85 per cent of molesters and rapists are known to their victims.
They say you shouldnt judge a book by its cover, they why judge a woman by her clothes. I think its high time men grow up and let women decide what they should wear and what they shouldn't.

If a man wears a pair of trunks on a beach its okay....in fact its appropriate to the occasion but if a woman wears a swimsuit at a beach she's cheap and calling for trouble.....We are living in the 20th century and yet our brains lie in the stone age when we lived like animals jumping on those who are weak and making them a victim of our sadistic pleasure.