Home Finally

Just realised why I love home so much....because here I'm accepted just the way I am and nobody expects anything from me.....Am so looooving it with my tedha hai but mera hai family....

Tired running

Ran on the treadmill, ran in the school race, ran for the train and now running after people.....Huh, I'm so tired.... The firs three at least helped me stay fit, the last one has tired me mentally, so resolution 2009 is to stop running after people and leave them to their devices. Do i sound B.I.T.C.H. Y.....( if yes....then great because that was the intent) 

If you keep running after people they call you needy and if you don't they say 'you don't care!' Now what should one do? I feel the best thing to do is just do what you feel is the right thing and take responsibility for your actions. 

What a wonderful day

Had one of the worst Thursdays....too much unwanted drama. Was glad that the day finally got over, I woke up this morning and felt so much better....it's a cloudy day but guess who just made my day? The sparrows....i woke up to their chirp and it actually is making me feel so much better! Also credit to A and V for hearing me out my constant cribbing. Hope you all have a great day 

Do good people finish last?

A few incidents that happened in my life last week forced me to think about this do good people finish last?

1) My best friend Amrita got laid off from the India's so called biggest newspaper house after putting in more than three years of blood, tears etc. After being bed ridden with pneumonia for more than two months Amrita joined work and within two weeks she was asked to leave just like that. Sacking an employee because they were ill well you need to be cold-hearted to do that and the big bosses at this media house proved it. If you think that I am pissed just because she's my friend then you are right but apart from being my friend, Amrita is an excellent writer and an intelligent journalist with a good heart. A rare combination to find these days. You will find scores of writers today who know all the correct words and who break the biggest stories but you will rarely find a writer who never cheats. Who never makes up quotes and who hates taking bylines if they know  in their heart that they don't believe in their story. Here are a few of Amrita's articles that I found. You be the judge. 

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Make-our-e-borders-safe/articleshow/4360255.cms

http://www.kannadabalaga.co.uk/docs/2008-04-13-kp-bhanumathi.pdf

I remember around two years ago while I was working in mumbai, Amrita told me that one of her seniors had told her that she needed to be more "pro-active" or rather need to make polite conversations with the big bosses. Which I know Amrita would never indulge in.....and I'm so proud of you for just being yourself and for never compromising with your ideas, beliefs, thoughts just for a job. 

2) I have no qualms in admitting that I am a huge fan of reality TV and I love watching Indian reality shows because I connect to these shows. There have been criticisms that reality TV isn't all that real, I don't care about those comments - to each his own. One saturday night I just couldn't sleep and was browsing through the net i happened to catch the video of a newly launched Indian show called "Sarkaar Ki Duniya" an Indian version of survivor meets monopoly. The show caught my eye and since then I have become addicted to it. Every noon at 12 I start browsing for online episodes of the show and make it a point to watch it. The show has 18 contestants from different walks of life - among popular names there is fame gurukul winner Qazi Tauqeer and Bengali actress Koneenica Banerjee. 

The show is similar to real life - every week a captain is selected and he along with the other contestants has to complete a task. He's given a bag of guineas (coins) which he has to distribute among the other contestants. The catch is you can't involve all the contestants into the task. At the end of the week three people with the least amount of guineas find themselves in the bottom and the remaining contestants vote out one of them. 

Everything went fine for the first two weeks but following that groups were made and politics and bullying creeped in. People were ready to stoop to any levels to survive in this show and morals, values and principles didn't matter only Rs. 1 Crore and winning the game mattered. But one contestant a DJ, model and actor from Kolkata Shamaun Ahmed chose to differ. The guy decided to get into the danger zone to save his friend. What I admired about this 26-year-old is the fact that he never compromised with his values and principles. Other contestants called him a fool for sacrificing being on a show and gainining some good publicity. But I'd say well done Shamaun, our generation has constantly been called as "selfish, without principles, manipulative, vindictive etc...." But you proved that not all of us our the same. Not all of us use the F...word 100 times a day and not all of us compromise with what we believe in. You may not have won the show but you have won a lot of respect. And I just hope and wish that everyone in this world gets a friend like you. You stood up to the bullies, and you listened to your heart. Buddy there are very few of us who listen to our hearts these days....we are a breed that is on the verge of being extinct and am glad that you are a part of it. 

Last Sunday I haappened to get into a debate with a friend who was telling me that it wasn't wrong in presenting yourself in front of the world in the best possible way, by lying a little. My answer you can do anything as long as you can live with it. If you can lie about your skills and still look in the mirror and not flinch good for you. I remember as a 12-year-old I once stole Rs. 16 from my grandma's purse, I confessed to her the same evening because i felt extremely guilty about it and couldn't face it. Result I got a good pasting and was under strict house arrest for a month but believe me it was worth it. 

I will conclude by saying that it isn't easy sticking to what you believe in, the road will often be uphill but you will surely reach your destination and once you reach there believe me it will be worth it. I want to tell Amrita this - this maybe a tough time but you know that you have talent and nothing can make-up for good talent. Good PR skills will only take you so far but a good-heart, hard-work and talent is what counts in the end. Your talent and hard-work is something that nobody can steal from you. So just be the way you are and you will definitely achieve success.  There maybe times when you may doubt yourself, but at least you are at peace with yourself and are not fooling yourself. God has a plan for each one of us, sometimes the picture is hazy in the begining and you may have difficulty seeing it clearly but when the whole portrait is revealed you realize its beauty.

So the answer to the question, Do good people finish last according to me would be : Depends on how you look at it. For me a person who refuses to put compromise with his values comes will always be first. Their education, job profile or awards don't matter if you can't be true to yourself. 

Just a line

These days spending a lot of time doing things I don't particularly like. Worse still I am putting 200 per cent into it. Why? Don't know the reason. Ha! Trying to get out of this phase soon.

Life's Googlies

We all make plans in life but uparwala or the alimighty has different plans for everyone. You start every day with the thought that today you will hit a century but he throws a googly at you and in some cases you prepare for the worst but he does something for you that puts a smile on your face. 

My life is no different either. Unlike most children who love going to school I hated school, I just hated it from the bottom of my heart. Reason I would like to believe is that my parents put me in school when I was too young, because I started talking when I was just 1 years old by the time I was 2 I knew all the rhymes and the standard answers to "what's your name?" "how old are you" "what's your parents name" and of course, "who do you love more, mommy or daddy?" Like most parents mine also thought I was the best thing to happen to the world after "Einstien" so they pulled some strings and put me into school a few days before I turned 3. The year was 1985 - now I was told that all you do in school is make friends and play with other kids of your age. When I reached school I realized that they comfortably forgot to tell me that there would be a teacher in school who would shhhshh me the moment I opened my mouth. I was also introduced to a sentence 'finger on your lips' and the concept of WRITING. No points for guessing I hated both. I refused to write, I would tell my teachers "Miss I will say all the answers you write it for me."

At that time I lived with my aunt, she would come to pick me from school and every day after school she would sit down with other kids from my class and take down notes. Because I just refused to write. We had an exam at the year end and while I got full marks in all the oral exams I failed the writing exams - because of course I didn't write (seeds of a rebel were sown much early in life). My school wanted me to sit through my Jr. kg or L Kg or Pre Kg - and my family was disappointed, all their dreams of having the next Einstien in their family were broken. My mom requested my teacher to consider me and they agreed to have a re-exam - but there was a hitch. I would have to clear the written exam in order to be promoted to the next class. My mom emotionally blackmailed me into writing at least something in the answer paper. Results were out and I had passed -the family was happy and so was the teacher that she had gotten rid off me. 

This story has become a family joke today, reason something that I hated as a child eventually went on to become my passion. Yes, I ended up becoming a journalist and my only passion in life today is writing. Writing without bounds, writing anything that comes to my mind..... 

So you can see the googly he threw it me, But I'm glad for this one....I wonder what next?

Day dreaming

Some say those who dream are running away from reality or rather living in a world of their own which may crash anytime and when it crashes there is no escape. But I can't help but dream, there hasn't been a single day or moment in my life when I haven't dreamt. 
As a child I remember a common grouse most of my teachers had was "she's always day dreaming in the class" C'mon now I can't help it if my mind just starts spinning! Would love to share an incident here. During a Math class in standard 10 our teacher was teaching something about trignometry, while he and the class were thinking about sine, teta and cos I was somewhere else all together. I was thinking about how my school resembled a prison, where my ideas were just caught together and shut up in a tight cell. I was actually thinking of creative ideas of how to escape the prison - maybe I could feign sickness or better still I could hit a classmate so that they would call my parents and send me home! Suddenly I hear a stern voice asking me "what is the formula for area of a circle?" And that voice bought me back into tragic reality. I knew the answer but somehow wrapping up my dream and returning into the world of circles, triangles and 2+2 wasn't that quick. I was punished for daydreaming write out the formula 500 times for your home work! 

But if you thought that I had learnt my lesson, you are wrong. Some people never change and I guess I am one of them. We keep repeating things till they become a habit, now dreaming has become a habit. 

I think you should do anything as long as it makes you happy. If your dreams make you happy what's wrong with it? There's no tax charged on dreaming and in your dreams you can be anything from Bill Gates to Obama to Martin Scorcese to Al Pacino or Salma Hayek or even Rakhee Sawant. Also life is too short, there are so many things that you want to achieve but maybe the harsh realities of your life don't let you do it, for those of us there is the world of dreams.