DEALING WITH INSECURITY

Lately i've been obsessed with the word "insecurity," so you'll get an overdose of it.....
As a teenager i was insecure about the way i looked.....while i never had a problem with my dark skin tone....everyone around me from friends, neighbours, classmates to even some of my teachers had a problem with it.
"Archana....you should try this cream, you know?" or "you are dark but you have good features...." or "try getting this done it will make you a little fair," or "you shouldn't wear some colours because they won't suit you," or "you are a dusky maiden, black beauty?"
My answer to these suggestions.... both my parents are dark so i am supposed to be dark....i can't help it??? its in the genes!!!! But somewhere deep inside me i felt that my skin colour was like a handicap....
As immature teenagers some of us can be insensitive....i remember being called a lot of hurtful things by some of my neighbours....while i bravely learnt laughing it off later it did hurt me at times....
Even my close friends never missed a session of advicing me on improving my skin colour, or consoling me by saying, "you're dark but dont worry you have good features....in fact i love your dusky skin tone." In hindsight i realise that their intentions weren't hurtful and they probably didn't know i was sensitive about it.....
When i turned 17....my aunt thought that i was grown up enough to travel alone and she enrolled me to a public speaking course at Mumbai's Indo American Society and the 12 sunday workshop helped me immensely. I was a changed person....I made some very good friends there who seemed to have no problem with the way i looked.....it was here that i realised that i was good at a lot of things and that i could probably become something in life.
Post Indo-American i overcame my insecurity with my colour and rather accepted it as a part of me. I did meet a lot of people after that who had lots of suggestions for making me fairer etc.....bt i realised that they have a different version of beauty and probably i don't fit that version but that doesn't make me ugly or bad.....
Other than my Indo-American friends there have been only two people in my life with whom i have had a long term contact and who have never discussed my colour with me.....my best friend Amrita and my husband Vijay.....
I have known Ami for five years and Vijay for 8 and a half years and they have never ever discussed my colour with me.....it was as if they never noticed it and that has only made me respect them more.....
Initially i would suspect that maybe they did notice my skin tone but they were too kind to hurt me and hence never mentioned it to me.....so i casually asked Ami, "do you think i should try a fairness cream?" and Ami was so furious with me, "why do you need one? what's wrong with you?"